his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize