I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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