Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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