i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
