It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
When are your genitals available?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
