You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You dont lie about slip and slides
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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