My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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