OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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