What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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