im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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