I think i peed on brittanys purse
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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