Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
