Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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