Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
