just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
