how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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