I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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