Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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