The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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