Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
