Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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