Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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