OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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