I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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