Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
did you just send me my own nude
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
