I wannas sexs uuuuu
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
now i know why i became what i already was.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize