there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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