how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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