There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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