I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
