but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
