At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
