No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
