I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Also, beer. Big fan.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
