Can Purell be used as lube?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
