butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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