She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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