ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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