her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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