Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
