She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
