I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
