if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
