addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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