so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
