i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I look better un-naked...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
