I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize