I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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