Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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