brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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