It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
