i was born a porn star she said
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
