Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
