God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Can I color on your dick again?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
