i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
