the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
