Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
