I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
