apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize