Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
