nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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