i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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