I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
