im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
