Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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