Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
