you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
